Far away from the Cho’s village, there was a mountain. No, seriously, there was a mountain far away from that village. It’s a different thing that people in this world have accepted ‘faraway’ as a standard unit of measure which was anything but standard. It was equal to any distance that consisted of a variable topology exciting enough to be chronicled as a journey. Due to a freak accident involving plate tectonics and an acorn, that distance was roughly equal to seven blocks from Cho’s village. Now don’t complain that blocks aren’t a standard unit of measure. People of Knoo Eork beg to differ.
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The concept of standard units, like the concept of everything else, was different in the kingdom. Since there was only one kingdom on one planet in one solar system in one galaxy in one cluster in one universe, there was not exactly a need for standardization and universal convenience. So the units were formed as per convenience and public voting.
Public voting is one of the most fundamental phenomenon’s of nature. No matter what package it is presented in, in this kingdom, the results were always exactly the opposite of what they should have been. If you expect a majority result, it will be a minority result. If you expect a whitewash, it will be a tarbath. No result will make any sense. You get the drift. So the kingdom got these basic units for themselves:
Length: “Faraway” – One faraway consisted of a certain distance within which there was enough topological variation to be traveled upon as part of a chronicle (read a few cliffs to hang from, one vast desert, two or more vantage points to observe the other side, one river per day to catch fish from and to spy on maidens, one large enough jungle for monsters and walking inanimate objects to hide in and be killed in). For the people who are confused, kindly consult the people of Knoo Eork for a relevant relation to blocks.
Time: “Profsee” – One profsee was the time duration between a prophecy being made and fulfilled. Accept it. It is the only unit of time with any relevance in this universe. What happens when there is no prophecy you ask? The unit is referred to as Noprofsee. There were certain sub units like Chaptur, Prokrusteenashun (PN) etc, which, quite correctly, changed their definitions with time.
Weight: “Flai” – One flai was the weight one could bear while flying. For most it was their own weight. As you can guess, here people who could not fly were considered weightless.
Speed: “AypeekJurknee (AJ)” – One faraway per profsee was one aypeekjurknee.
Well, other units were formed much later than the events of this story, so currently they do not concern us. As if you would care when they do.
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Now that mountain was taken on lease by Tim from the Universal Board of Villainous Hideouts for the duration of one prophecy. When asked by the board the name he desired to register it by, Tim showed his magical creativity and connection to the people of Knoo Eork’s Arlaym area, he named it “Mount Mahlease”.
On top of this Mount Mahlease, deep within the darkest dark places in the darkness of the dark lair of Tim, was the oldest and most powerful being in the existence of the universe: You. Do not be confused. One of the most omnipresent powers of You is that wherever his name is written down in any language, it changes into the pronoun for second person singular in that language. Some say this has something to do with the fact that You was always lonely. One cannot refer to his name, even in this form, in plural. Apart from his name, You has several powers, the true extent of which are not known to anyone but You.
One of the most primeval powers that belonged to You was the ability to do what You believed in. Some say, that this is what started You down the dark path. This and some other creatures called They who used to play with what he believed in. You had a mind which, being what it was, was highly prone to unleashing it’s full abilities singularly towards destruction, or creation. Unfortunately, You met Tim while we were on the first chapter. This time, They did not read this chronicle, it was Tim who spent an entire chapter with You. And Tim let his magic work on You, this time with the Quarter behind the ear trick. You couldn’t help being drawn to following Tim, and You did. The rest is the back-story to this chapter.
Now You waits. He has been waiting for more than one Noprofsee, for a prophecy. Because he knew one was coming. He is waiting. For the chosen one. Because if someone is interested in what happens to the chosen one, it’s not me.
It’s You.
Arnab Mukherjee 